Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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