you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
