What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
