i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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