i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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