I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
