This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize