Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
