my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
