Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
