I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My cat gives me a boner
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
