it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize