I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
