so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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