Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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