Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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