Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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