I hate your face
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You can't motorboat a personality
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
