You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
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i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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