dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
