I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
