btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
