Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i need some magic done to my vagina
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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