so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
