Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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