I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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