Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
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Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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