their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
