Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
