So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
