how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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