Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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