The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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