And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
