My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
