you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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