she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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