i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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