what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
