didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize