You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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