the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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