she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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