One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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