I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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