I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
