there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
