Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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