You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
