i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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