all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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