My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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