how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
