Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize