you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
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I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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