no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
