ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
