I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
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