You smell like stripper and shame
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
