Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
