Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
