Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize