I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
