Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
