$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
you are never too drunk for berry picking
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
