Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
